Thursday, October 22, 2015

Individual Time!


For the past few weeks, I've been making an extra effort to give Caden and Conor some  more individual time. Before, when they were smaller (and lighter), I could carry both, lift them up quickly, or pull them up on the couch with me. I could also bring them both out to the car so easily. Now it's getting harder and harder to do those things. Oddly enough, this "individual time" advice was given to me while I was pregnant and didn't really understand the need to separate them. But I must say, now I am watching them grow and learn and seeing them have individual needs and wants, I like the idea.
  
They don't have extremely different interests, mostly because they're both into everything and they want to learn. But I can see them being fascinated with different things. For example , Conor is really interested in things that spin. He loves steering wheels, this spinning toy palm tree, playing with/throwing the ball, snuggling, sucking his thumb and being chased. Caden, while still interested in all of those, he really loves cars. Caden loves spinning the wheels of cars, "driving" them all over the carpet and floor and up the walls. He also loves to bring a toy (usually a car) with him wherever he goes -- whether it's the dinner table, or upstairs to his room, or in the car for a ride, he tends to bring a small toy with him. They both typically like the same things, but the way they play is just different...and I love that. I love their individual personalities.


  




Oh, and don't worry. Their tantrums are in full force; and I would say it's mostly because of their lack of communication. It is really frustrating for everyone, but I would say mostly for them. And sure, I know everything is a phase, but being their Mom, I want to do everything I can to help them. So [coming full circle here] if that means giving them some individual time, that works for me!
To be honest, and I don't mean this to be offensive -- but I was thinking about it the other day -- all singleton babies have at least a year (if not more) dedicated strictly to both Mom and Dad. That single child has ALL the attention from his/her mommy and daddy, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, nanny, etc for such a long period of time. So weirdly, a part of me feels a little bad that Conor and Caden have had half the attention as singletons. Jim's grandmother and I were just discussing that over the weekend. It's so nice being able to talk to her and hear her thoughts/concerns/memories of raising twin boys. It's a comforting feeling. After we talked about their "lack" of individual bonding time as infants, we quickly shifted gears by remembering that they have had a buddy/twin/sibling/bestie since before they were born. SO for that, they are super lucky. Right?!
  
But anyway, enough over-thinking it. I'm making it a priority to spend some one-on-one time with each of them to learn more about them as individuals and the things that each of them want. I've been giving each of them some more individual snuggle time, especially towards the end of the day. I also try and hold one of them more while I'm walking around the house making dinner or doing laundry -- or, we have taken just one of them out for an individual ride in the car (this tends to happen more on weekends so the other parent is home with the other one). 
Caden's turn...



And Conor's turn...

   
   

I may now actually be ready for someone to babysit just one at a time, so that the other can have extra long Mommy and Daddy time...all by themselves! I don't know, I am starting to think about it. It's so strange to think of only having one with me! Maybe I will start with someone watching them for one hour. :)
All for now...
Shaz